My home is not a place, it is people.
Published on February 4, 2005 By Cordelia In Misc

Alarm goes off at 5:00 am. Time to go to the gym!!!!


Alarm goes off at 7:00 am. Time to get up and shower!!!


Alarm goes off at 7:30. Alarm smashed by fist.


7:45 – 8:00 am: Shower. Stare at shower wall while using up all hot water. Don’t actually soap self; just stare.


8:00 – 8:30 am: get ready for work. Consider doing something with hair. Reject idea. Consider eating breakfast. Reject idea. Boil water for tea. Never make tea as takes too much effort. Consider making lunch. Reject idea. Pick clothes up off floor and put them on. Note small stain on sweater. No one will notice. Leave for work.


8:45 am: Stop and buy bagel with cream cheese and large tea. Spend 5$.


9:00 am: Arrive at work. Reconnect to Internet. Open e-mail. Ignore important e-mails from co-workers. Read only e-mails that promise humor or some gossip.


9:30 am: Get on Internet. Lurk on JoeUser. Lurk on Wincustomize. Never offer anything constructive or insightful or interesting. Never offer anything.


10:30 – 11:00 am: Stare longingly out window. Think about shopping.


11:00 am. Begin to consider lunch.  Look up funny websites that offer amusing anecdotes or funny quotes. Look up websites offering online degrees. Sign up for information about said degrees. Feel good about working to improve self.


12:00 Lunch!


1:00 pm: Do some work. Frantically attempt to meet deadlines imposed a week ago by corporate slave drivers. Glare at everyone and make sure they know how hard I'm working.


3:00 pm: At last, a break! Spend some quality time at the office supply cabinet. Pick up twice as many pens as I will ever use. ½ of pens will go home with me.


3:15 pm: Shop online for new clothes/shoes/bathroom accessories or similar. Mentally redecorate entire house and add up costs if I were to actually buy everything I wanted. Calculate how much time it will take me to save up that much money.


4:00 pm: Visit various websites. Claim it’s for research on competition.


4:45 pm: Solitaire


5:00 pm: Head for home!


6:00 pm: Arrive home. Spill some of McDonald’s soda on linoleum. Dogs will clean for me.


6:00 – 10:30 pm: Stare at TV. Eat McDonald’s. Wonder why I’m overweight and out of shape. Get mad at online degree people for calling and harassing me. Why are they calling me??


10:30 pm: Got to go to bed so I can get up early and go to the gym!!


10:30 – 11:45 pm: Read a book.


5:00 am: alarm goes off. Time to go to gym!!!


7:30 am: Alarm is smashed by fist.

on Feb 04, 2005
Interesting day you've got there, although I question the wisdom of posting it on a website run by your employer And it looks like you could benefit from learning to manage your time more effectivly. Get a good nights sleep tonight so you can go to the gym tomorrow
on Feb 04, 2005
I get enough exercise smashing the snooze button on my alarm.
on Feb 04, 2005
I get enough exercise smashing the snooze button my the alarm

I knew I was working out!
on Feb 04, 2005
haha, that's great! See, I don't add anything insightful, either.

on Feb 17, 2005
LMAO, sounds like things at work are going about as well as they did for me..


PS: I've already lost 5lbs since leaving, life is good, no offense but that place was sucking the life out of me.
on Feb 20, 2005
Oh honestly, if this was my actual day do you think I'd be posting it on a site run by my employers??
on Mar 12, 2005
actually, yes.