My home is not a place, it is people.
Published on September 5, 2004 By Cordelia In Misc
I have spent the afternoon lying in bed and reading a good book. It has been a long time since I’ve had the opportunity or the desire to do that, and I forgot how fantastic it feels to finish a very good book, especially when you have no other duties that HAVE to be done just then. It seems like my problems are a little more reasonable, when pitted against some hero figure who must save the world, the universe, or the woman he loves from the ravages of some evil. I wish I could hang on to the euphoric feeling I get when I finish a book, especially one that takes a good long time to wrap up the lose ends, so you get a good view of just how “happily ever after” life will be for the deserving hero or heroine. Hurrah for the writers of books. You all make my life easier, or at least more bearable.

In any event, our house has not yet closed, my car is still dead (but being worked on, and may come back to life for a relatively small amount of money thanks to some very good people we’ve met out here. You know who you are ).

I wish the problems of my life were as clear cut as many I see in stories. It seems like the ravages of life on Earth kills you with small cuts, until you are a torn and bleeding mass and you say, “I just don’t care anymore.” Or worse, you give in and become one of “them” – one of the ones who does as little as possible with your life, sailing through, insulting, hurting, stepping on people with no care as to how it affects them. I certainly have felt that way lately; that I don’t care any more. That I would rather be the one doing the trampling, and not be the trampled. If only I could raise my banner against a clear cut evil I would do it, and ride to war.

But how do you wage war on those who strive for mediocrity? How do you do battle with those empty-minded belittlers, those cringing cowards, those assassins of joy who every day come at you to take a cut? I have met many intelligent people who make themselves smaller and less worthy of the title “human” with their snobbery, their backhanded compliments, their useless attempts to make sure you see them as somehow “better” or, perhaps “higher” than you.

I know a woman who believes that if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. Seems like a good adage to live by, doesn’t it? Sometimes her silence rings as loudly as if she had hurled sewage at you. She is a smart woman, but she isn’t wise. She doesn’t realize that she is as transparent as glass.

But how am I supposed to battle this? Do I say to her, “How dare you not insult me out loud!” like some lunatic? See, much better to have an enemy you can get in your sights and kill. Not these foul and pestilent snakes in the grass that pretend to be polite and socially acceptable.

Ah yes, life is so much easier in books.

I think I shall go read another.

Comments
on Sep 05, 2004
Indeed, I spent my yesterday afternoon re-reading of all things "Kingdom Come". A story about Super heroes and God. In the stories, good and evil are clear cut. Smite evil, cheer on good.

The real world, sadly, is not nearly as clear cut. But even if it was, it would avail me little as rarely do I ever have to face making tough choices. Mediocrity, as you describe it, surrounds us but does not seem worthy of the effort it takes to smite and so we live with it as part of our journey down the slippery slope that is life.

And so I content myself battling trivialities on-line, the closest thing I will probably get to fighting for truth, justice and the American way.
on Sep 07, 2004
I read "Amber Spyglass" this weekend - I think I felt exactly what you describe, no obligations, just sit down with a great book... that's a feeling I haven't had in a long long time. And what a trilogy! I'm sorry I can never read those books again for the first time. But so glad to have met them!
on Sep 07, 2004
Screw the American way, I'd just like to apply an appropriate amount of brick to a few of the thicker skulls in our midst!