Dear Daddy,
Mommy ate all of your candy and left the half-chewed pieces ground into the carpet, all sticky and gross. Apparently she didn't know they were super sour candies and didn't like them. Now we feel sick - I mean, uh, MOMMY feels sick. Yeah, that's it.
Anyway, we'll work off the $5 we - Mommy! - owes you by being cute.
Love,
The Dogs.