My home is not a place, it is people.
Published on October 27, 2006 By Cordelia In Home & Family

She hates it when I call her mother, or mommy, or mamma. I only do it to torture her. Its one of the few teasing jokes I think I can get away with, without actually insulting her. She sometimes takes offense easily.


She doesn’t like people looking at her, or paying attention to her. She prefers to remain in the background, or at least to not be the center of attention.


She would hate this.


I haven’t seen her yet. Apparently there are tubes and wires and needles covering most of her body. There is very little skin left exposed that isn’t covered with some kind of medical equipment.


Aneurysm. The word bounced off my conscious mind when my sister called on Monday night. It just wouldn’t stick. Aneurysm. Mother.


Surgery on Tuesday went well. They opened her skull and tried to fix the bleeding. They cut into her head. Things looked much worse once they were inside, but they seem to have fixed the problem. “Picket fencing”, the surgeon called it.


She used to call up total strangers after she heard about them in the oncology ward at Children’s Hospital in Denver. “My name is Jan and I understand your child has Leukemia. My son also has Leukemia, and I wanted to see if you wanted to talk about it, and if not then I just wanted to tell you I hope you’re doing ok.”


We haven’t called her friends yet.


And now she’s somewhere else. Not dead. Not in a coma. Not asleep. Not here. She needs time to recover, and quiet inside her head to try and heal.  We don’t know yet, and we won’t know the extent of her recovery for days, possibly weeks.


This is the dangerous time. She is by no means out of the woods.  It’s easy to think that surgery fixed the problem and she should be awake and walking around by now, but that’s not the case. She’ll be in intensive care for 2 – 3 weeks. In the hospital for at least 6 weeks.


I haven’t seen her yet. I’m afraid to see her. I want to see her. I wish there was some more dignified way of receiving treatment that having your entire body covered with tubes and wires. I’ll see her, but I won’t be able to talk to her. She won’t be there. I never called her back last Friday when she called me.


Mom. She’s no stranger to hospitals, but she never was the patient. She would hate this.

on Oct 27, 2006
Bless her.  And I hope she makes a full recovery.  Good luck to you and the rest of your family as well.
on Oct 27, 2006
Thank you. It's a difficult time, but the family seems to be doing well.
on Oct 27, 2006
It's times like these that I always have trouble saying what I mean. Let me try anyway.

Your mother is in our thoughts. We wish her a full and speedy recovery. If there is anything you need from us, anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask. Should you need Paul to fly out there, we'll happily take care of the kids for you (skunks and all!).
on Oct 27, 2006
I'ts strange when something like this happens to one of our parents. I somehow always felt my parents would be eternal, in fact when did they start growing old?

My prayers are with you and you family.
on Oct 27, 2006

I really feel for you, Kristin.  There is nothing that I can say to make you feel better.  But, none the less, please know that you and your family are in my thoughts.

on Oct 27, 2006
This is an awful thing for your mom, you and your family to be going through. I truly hope she gets well soon and mends well.

Hang in there and stay stay strong. I feel can feel your pain and emotion through your words, remain positive and give her all your love you have to give.

I will include her in my healing prayers and send her some healing energies.

*Sending you and your family love and light.*
on Oct 27, 2006
This was difficult for me to read. Having been on the same page before. I'm sorry your mum is going through this and I'm sorry your family is experiencing this too. I will pray for her and for you and your family. God bless.
on Oct 27, 2006

If there is anything you need from us, anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks K & T, I appreciate that. I'll certainly let you know if there is anything we need, but hopefully (~fingers crossed~) that won't be necessary.

I somehow always felt my parents would be eternal

Tell me about it. I went to see her today and she looked so small and fragile. It's tough, but so is she.

none the less, please know that you and your family are in my thoughts.

Thanks Karma, I really do appreciate your kind words. I hope you are doing well also.

This is an awful thing for your mom

It is, that's true, but I don't *think* she's aware of anything. I hope not, actually. Thank you for your words and prayers.

Having been on the same page before

I'm sorry to hear that, FS, I hope it didn't bring up too many painful memories. Thank you very much for your thoughts and prayers.

on Oct 29, 2006
Oh Kristin. I wish I was there to give you a 30-minute hug. I've got your Mom, you and your family on my church's prayer list. Please know that I'm thinking of you often my friend. I'm sure there's nothing I can do from way down here in the deep South, but if there's ANYTHING, you've got my number.

on Oct 29, 2006
Thanks very much Joel; that really means a lot to me. I'll be sure to call if you can do anything. It's so frustrating though - I can't even do anything! But at least I'm in Colorado with my family, so that makes it a little easier. Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers and those of your church.
on Oct 30, 2006
Kristin... I just heard, and I'm SOOO sorry to hear about your mom. I'm pulling and praying for your mom, you, and your family. Please let me know if there's anything we can do for you... here at the office, or just in general. Also... don't play the "I should have" game... it'll just make it that much harder on you, and what's important is that you are there now. I hear that a patient can hear everything going on in their room. So talk to her, tell her you love her.. call her mother, mommy, or mamma... she'll get that message.
on Oct 30, 2006

These are hard times; I feel for you. You say your mom is tough. I have a mom who is a pretty tough cookie, too, and she has come back from alot of stuff in the last few years. I hope your mom will do the same.
on Oct 30, 2006

Thank you both Hillaree and Nickie. I appreciate your thoughts and words. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, as is my whole family.

Hillaree - I think my exact words were "tough old bat".