When I was younger I didn't mind cleaning. Ok, that's not true, I did mind. I'm sure I pouted and whined and generally made a nuisance of myself, but I did my chores and that was that.

I got a little older and both of my parents were working. In the summers I could have my days to myself as long as I got all my chores done, so I would deny myself food and fun until it was all done, then I'd eat and then retire to my room to read. So somewhere along the line cleaning equaled rest and food, and I got to rather like it. Plus I knew I could be good at it.

And let’s review what I mean by “clean”. I mean moving the furniture and vacuuming under it each week. I mean getting on my hands and knees with rubber gloves on to protect myself from the very strong chemicals and getting into the corners of the bathroom with an old toothbrush clean. I mean CLEAN.

There were times in my life when I’ve considered starting a cleaning service. It’s not like it’s my life’s goal to clean other people’s houses, but I kind of get into a Zen thing when I clean. Things need to be organized and put in their proper places. Dirt needs to be out of the house. It makes me feel better when things are clean. But if I were to start such a business I’d have to be insured in some way, because as sure as the sun rises someone would accuse me of stealing something or breaking something and that would be that.

So I became older still and got a full-time job and was going to school full-time, and housework became something that just got in my way and took up valuable time.

Now I just work. Technically I have plenty of time to keep the house clean - even as clean as I want it to be.

I don’t clean like I used to. In my admittedly slightly OCD mind the house is NEVER clean. I know that even when I can get into those corners with a toothbrush and a strong bleach or cleaner there is still dirt in there, hiding from me. So when I DON’T clean like that every week…can you imagine what must be lurking? Cleaning has become a frustrating task now, because it…is…never…clean. It kills me to know that.

For several years I’ve been wishing I could hire a cleaning service. I would have them come in every day if I was rich, but I am not rich. Even having them come once a week is too much. It would probably cost $200 per month or more, and I simply can’t justify the expense. I’ve even considered getting a part-time job on the side of my regular job just so I can hire a house-keeping service.

But that’s just silly, right? Silly to get a second job in order to hire people to do a job I’m exceptionally capable of doing myself.

So I’ve decided to hire me to clean my house. Frankly, there is no one better for the job, because I work cheap and I can trust myself to not steal (I think). I’m going to pay myself for weekly cleaning service, even though I will be tough to afford. I think I’m worth it.

Hopefully this all works out. I never was very good at reprimanding people. If I don’t do a good job I’ll just have to give myself a stern talking to, then a written warning, and finally, I’ll fire me. I can’t spend my hard-earned money on slip-shod work.  

With the extra money I make from my house-cleaning service, I can always buy something nice as a reward for myself. Perhaps a few visits with a nice psychiatrist would be just the thing.