My home is not a place, it is people.
Cordelia's Articles In Humor
December 19, 2006 by Cordelia
Found this on The Onion. Struck me as HILARIOUS, so I thought I'd share.

How Did I End Up On The Cover Of This Romance Novel?
By Duncan Larksthrush
December 13, 2006 | Issue 42•50 Last week at the supermarket, while shopping for my weekly supply of three dozen eggs and 12 pounds of mutton, I spotted a rack near the checkout lane containing several romance paperbacks. Normally, such trash wouldn't get a second glance from my coal-black eyes, but the sight of one book practically made my chi...
December 19, 2006 by Cordelia
Found this on The Onion. Struck me as HILARIOUS, so I thought I'd share.

How Did I End Up On The Cover Of This Romance Novel?
By Duncan Larksthrush
December 13, 2006 | Issue 42•50 Last week at the supermarket, while shopping for my weekly supply of three dozen eggs and 12 pounds of mutton, I spotted a rack near the checkout lane containing several romance paperbacks. Normally, such trash wouldn't get a second glance from my coal-black eyes, but the sight of one book practically made my chi...
December 14, 2006 by Cordelia
I don't know who wrote this. My father forwarded it to me, and undoubtedly it's been making the rounds.

To My Liberal Friends:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the ...
December 14, 2006 by Cordelia
I don't know who wrote this. My father forwarded it to me, and undoubtedly it's been making the rounds.

To My Liberal Friends:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the ...
October 8, 2006 by Cordelia
I hate everyone. I just want to clear that up right now. I hate everyone and I’m not apologizing for it. I include myself in this group, so don’t assume I’m playing high and mighty. I hate everyone and they all deserve it, including me. I went shopping today, and therefore I’m pissed off. I get pissed off every time I go shopping. In truth I probably just didn’t eat a big enough breakfast to deal with the stress and chaos of shopping, but there is something about shopping that leads to...
October 8, 2006 by Cordelia
I hate everyone. I just want to clear that up right now. I hate everyone and I’m not apologizing for it. I include myself in this group, so don’t assume I’m playing high and mighty. I hate everyone and they all deserve it, including me. I went shopping today, and therefore I’m pissed off. I get pissed off every time I go shopping. In truth I probably just didn’t eat a big enough breakfast to deal with the stress and chaos of shopping, but there is something about shopping that leads to...
February 7, 2006 by Cordelia
When I was younger I didn't mind cleaning. Ok, that's not true, I did mind. I'm sure I pouted and whined and generally made a nuisance of myself, but I did my chores and that was that.  I got a little older and both of my parents were working. In the summers I could have my days to myself as long as I got all my chores done, so I would deny myself food and fun until it was all done, then I'd eat and then retire to my room to read. So somewhere along the line cleaning equaled rest and food, ...
February 7, 2006 by Cordelia
When I was younger I didn't mind cleaning. Ok, that's not true, I did mind. I'm sure I pouted and whined and generally made a nuisance of myself, but I did my chores and that was that.  I got a little older and both of my parents were working. In the summers I could have my days to myself as long as I got all my chores done, so I would deny myself food and fun until it was all done, then I'd eat and then retire to my room to read. So somewhere along the line cleaning equaled rest and food, ...
April 8, 2005 by Cordelia
Friday fun time. Share your results!  

Been round tha block
You scored 57 Street Knowledge points, 47 Culture points, 70 Gang Knowledge points, and 63 Thug Mentality points! Aight, you know a few things, but you probably weren't in the think of it. You know the right people for a quick hookup or you know what not to do. You probably have a couple friends that are gangsta, but be real, you know they just yo cousins. My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age an...
April 8, 2005 by Cordelia
Friday fun time. Share your results!  

Been round tha block
You scored 57 Street Knowledge points, 47 Culture points, 70 Gang Knowledge points, and 63 Thug Mentality points! Aight, you know a few things, but you probably weren't in the think of it. You know the right people for a quick hookup or you know what not to do. You probably have a couple friends that are gangsta, but be real, you know they just yo cousins. My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age an...
February 22, 2005 by Cordelia
I don't know who wrote this originally, but I got this via e-mail and had to share.

Creation Story:

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice
Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
A...
February 22, 2005 by Cordelia
I don't know who wrote this originally, but I got this via e-mail and had to share.

Creation Story:

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice
Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
A...